A lost love, a long departed ex, an old flame from high school…..I cannot count the number of times I have read for people who are hung up on a past relationship.  Letting go of a relationship is never an easy process.

Sometimes that is a good thing: an ex suddenly comes to their senses, realizes you are the one and returns with a true commitment this time.  Or a person from the past reemerges and you remember how you never gave them a fair chance.  It’s beautiful when it happens.  I love stories of long lost loves coming back and finally getting a second shot to do it right (I’m a romantic at heart).

But sometimes it’s not so great:  you hang on and on, praying that he dumps that awful woman who stole him away from your (delusional) great relationship.  You put your life on hold and don’t allow anyone else to enter.  You may even stalk him online, hoping for a sign that he’s going to come back to you….and you ignore the disses he puts on his Facebook profile about his crazy stalker ex.  Yeah, you know what I am talking about.

So what is the best path to take?

When it comes to the question of “will he return”, I prefer to take a yogic path of “aparigraha”, non-grasping.  That means letting it go and turning it over to the Universe.  But that’s me and my way is not right for everyone.

Sometimes it is worth putting in a little effort to win back a loved one.  And tarot can help us to find the way to a healthy resolution – whether that be a loving reunion or letting go once and for all.

One of my favorite spreads (and one that I use a lot for many issues) was created by my friend.  This simple spread is perfect for a question such as “Will he return?”

The positions are: Situation, The Challenge, Advice, Likely Outcome.  The brilliance of this spread is that you get an idea of where you currently stand, what obstacles you may face, and advice as well as a potential outcome.  This well rounded approach gives true guidance in an easy to work with format for readers of all levels.

Let’s try it out.  My client, Soniya, is hung up on her old boyfriend, Manish.  He’s been gone a year and has been involved with a new woman, Shivani.  Soniya has been texting him and trying to contact him from time to time but no answer.  She believes he is the love of her life and is holding out hope for a reconciliation.

The situation: the 10 of Swords can be a devastating card to see in a question such as “will he return”. This is the card of the complete ending.  The figure lies face down, swords in his back – a sign of total and utter failure.  This says to me that this relationship is over – Marielle needs to face that he’s gone and most likely he has no interest in returning.

The challenge: 2 of Wands – here, the figure is looking back at the 10 of Swords and holding a globe in his hand. Often this is the card of success but in this position, I see it representing Marielle as a “lady in waiting”.  Her challenge is that she is putting her whole life on hold as she waits for Ricardo to come back. In the meantime, she doesn’t realize she is isolating herself from potential suitors or peace of mind.  She’s stuck, hung up on the past and stagnant.

Advice: Strength reversed – she’s in the weak position here.  She cannot force this to happen and she needs to realize that.  No amount of pushing or pleading (or texting) is going to bring this man back.  It’s time to let go.  Make peace, forgive and send him on his way with acceptance.  Stop resisting.

Likely outcome: Ace of Swords reversed – in due time, her mind will change.  While she may be resisting a new beginning at this time, if she lets go of Ricardo, she’ll create space for something new to come into her life.  By letting go, hard as it is, she’ll experience the mental breakthrough she needs to move on with dignity.  It may take time but she’ll be able to let this go.